[Tokyo] – A team of 100 police officers was necessary this afternoon in central Tokyo to protect the NTV headquarters from a violent mob protesting against the results of yet another disgraceful airing of the controversial Japanese TV show “Nep & Imoto’s World Rankings”. The problem this time? The four seasons.
The TV show “Nep & Imoto’s World Rankings” conducts surveys to rate countries by various properties, such as the daily amount of time spend on the phone or the average daily intake of rice. Last month, the show caused nation-wide uproar with their ranking of countries by the average length of the population’s intestines. The show ranked Japanese in a disappointing 15th place among 39 investigated countries.
Despite warnings from several high level politicians, and a promise by the TV station’s president to avoid further provocative incidence, last nights airing showed Japan having four seasons. This was described by the show’s presenters as “average”, putting Japan in an unimpressive ranking shared with countries including Austria, Turkey, and arch-rival South Korea.
NTV’s president was interviewed briefly in front of the headquarters, and emotionally exclaimed “What do these people want? We did an honest survey, and reported our honest results. Doesn’t Japan have four seasons?”.
Several protesters however expressed the opinion that the problem was rather the number of reported seasons of other countries. “It is too high”, one man complained. A friend supported his views, claiming that she was “absolutely sure that Japan was unique in having four seasons”, though she admitted having never left Japan for periods longer than one week nor having “any knowledge of the earth’s climates or ecology whatsoever”.
The police have doubled the staff investigating potential bribery of the NTV board of directors by foreign agents.